Mukamaal Jahan ( complete world)

05:15pm- Coming back from work .. was so tired that could barely open my eyes..and as usual work was still on my mind.The cab had stopped at one of the traffic signal near office and here I saw something dat is still on my mind ( n hence me jotting it down..hopefully will take off the visual) ...It was a boy ( about 12-13 yrs) who was standing in front of a drink joint and crying..all alone... Guess must have been one of the workers employed by the bar guy. I've seen a lot of people crying but there was something so painful on his face that made my heart wrench. I sooo wanted to get down and give him a big hug and tell him its going to be alright.. Its his age to go to school and enjoy his childhood instead here he was working to clean up after drunkards and probably a fat & ugly owner..was he beaten up by the owner ?? or some drunkard ?? or did he have enough of the filth around him and all he could do was cry cause he could change his situation ??

Reminds me of Galibs sher "Kabhi kisi ko mukammal jahaan nahin miltaa, Kahin zameen to kahin aasmaan nahin miltaa" ...

Kyun zindagi itne majboor ho jate hai ki hum apne kismat ko badal nahi saktey ? hhhmmm... leave you with that thought for now.

Trip to Amballa- Back to ole town- 26 Mar 09

This is one trip I want remember for a long time.. coming to Amballa after 14yrs brings back all memories with Chikoo, Romi Mamu, Pappi Masi, Daddyji, Jujhar Mamu, Honey et all… I don’t know why but all my life I have been closer to mum’s side of da family ( maybe cause I was da first grandchild in their family and also da only girl child in the da family for almost 16yrs till of course Shagun was born.. n wht a beautiful baby she was!). I have da best childhood memories only in Daddyji’s house ( Daddy being my Nanaji /granddad)..Today morning we all were talking about the days during monsoon when we used to plug the drains of da front veranda, water clogging it in a small shallow swimming pool and how Pappi masi n all da kids wud pretend to be swimming in a pool and all wud dance 2 hindi songs ..or da times during summer when we wud sleep on the terrace with machardani’s and the first thing dat we wud see sometimes on da airforce grounds when we got up was ppl going to clear their tummy’s out in da open wid their cups of water…Chikoo and me would be giggling our hearts out at mamu making jokes about those ppl..like da speed of the persons walk determining how badly they wanted to go or when someone had loose’s.. LOL !!!

Of course Daddyji’s house is not there anymore to stay now since Mamu is building a new house in its place. N that being an excuse for all for us to meet up after a very long time and me getting to see all in 14yrs… Dristi & Honey have grown so BIG !!! n taller than me too ! Of course goes without saying how handsome they look ( good looks run in the family: )).. Am sure they have loads of girlfriends. well yet to meet Bunney and Amarjeet masaji.. Babbo masi hasn’t changed a bit same ole sweetheart.. no wonder she is called a Gaaoo.. Sheesh I wish I could a few more days and revisit all the places ( specially my school)… but I guess will have to suffice with just a taste of my past for now.. But will surely came back for more ..Hopefully meeting rest of da family members that time round… Cheers to wishful thinking :)

My First Blackberry-Yipppeeeee !!! (23 Mar 09)

I seriously need ot reach to dis !!!! traaaa la la la tra la la la ( doing my victory dance, jumping with joy ).. lalalalalalalalala.. I have got a blackberry.. lalalala!!!!!!

Ok now dat I have reacted and jumped with joy let me give a bit of background on y I am so HAPPY ! Mamu gifted me a blackberry !! Its like a dream come true for me ( if you’d see my current phone you’d know why I am so happy… its an antique piece meant to be kept in a museum) Finally I have a a kewl phone…But I think it will take a while 2 get used to using da device and also its pretty chunky.. but hey not complaining ..chalta hai ..its kewl !!! Have to remember to thank mamu 4 it.. guess it pays to be his fav ....I luv him 2 bits and luv the way he calls me “vinnu beta”.. I am soooo luking forward to meeting him …first time after Chik’s death.. I wish u were here Chikad..V both wud have had sooo much fun ( !).. Miss u bhai :’(… I hope u sitting up there and sharing my excitement :)

Okies now I gotta sign off.. Let me spend some time exploring my blackberry :)..

Ugly pink shirt guy...

Yesterday was a day of disasters n absolute irritation ... once again folks started wid their raga of "meet a boy" ..didnt want to spoil my mood so went ahead wid what they said...

And my-my what a circus bunch dey were... antyji & bahu wanted to c me first and if ( pls note "if') they like find me ok ( i.e eyes, hand, legs, ears all in place & to ensure that i dont resemble an alien) only then the son would come. After the initial helloji & namstey, finally sat in one of the coffee shops ( which by the way had loads of yummy stuff to eat.. planning to go back again for that)... 5mts down da line da stupid ( MBA qualified ) bahu calls the boy to come ...Finally DA man comes .. in a pink teeee ( all wid prints n stuff) standing only 4ft tall( atleast dats how tall he looked from up here)..... his fingers had chuky rings n had a whole lot of moli tied on his hand.. how gawar (!) ... n uskey kalley, ghaney baal is sure worth a mention.. like he hadn't taken a hair cut for eon's...the enthu cutlet autnyji said"beta if u want to talk seprately pls do" ..everyone sitting in dat place was wid deir friends and all n here i was stuk wid an ugly pinky who didnt want to talk at all... atleast if he was gud luking it wouldn't have been so torturous ..I quickly finished my ice tea and asked for da bill ( during which my dad managed to fall n sprain his ankle as well).

D day went from bad to worse wid dad falling n spraining his ankle ... n today he is sitting wid a big swollen foot.. Now atleast I can tell him "c da guy is unluky for us.. u met him once n u injured urself so badly" ..

hhmmm... y du i have to bear wid such losser's when i know someone out dere is made for me ..whose heart wud fit mine just right... Hope he finds me soon cause i think i am loosing myself...

My loss

We cope with these everyday losses fairly well. We adjsut our attitude or change our prespective, method or approach. Some losses we consciously greive ,others we hardly notice beacuse they occur so slowly. But we keep moving ahead with creative persistance.. This is after all life.. but what about internal losses?? arent they the worst? These are the prerivations and abuses that seem to be a normal part of our life but at the same time are not.. they rob us of love, trust, self esteem, confidence and a sense of worthiness..We bleed internally with these losses... and then there are life's land mine losses..these are explosions we never expected, didnt deserve, and couldnt prevent..they rip our world apart, leaving gapign holes where something or someone important used to be..They strike at our foundation and leave us lonely, lost, frightned, angry, insecure and needy..

Pain is a language without words- so it is untouched by words, does it help to know that my prayers for you are often wordless too? And shaped like tears...

Comes the Dawn

After awhile you learn the subtle difference
Between holding a hand and chaining a soul.
And you learn that love doesn’t mean leaning
And company doesn’t mean security.
And you begin to understand that kisses aren’t contracts
And presents aren’t promises,
And you begin to accept your defeats
With your head held high and your eyes wide open.
With the grace of a woman, not the grief of a child.
You learn to build your roads
On today because tomorrow’s ground
Is too uncertain for plans, and futures have
A way of falling down in midflight.
After awhile you learn that even sunshine
Burns if you get too much.
So you plant your own garden and decorate
Your own soul, instead of waiting
For someone to bring you flowers.
And you learn that you really can endure,
That you really are strong.
And you really do have worth.
And you learn and learn...and you learn
With every goodbye you learn.

-Veronica A. Shoffstall

Pyar ho gaya

har paasey jad ik chehra tainu nazar jeha aaun lagge
oh ik pyar da gana toon har wele gungunaaun laggein
badal badal paavein pushaakaan ,mur mur sheeshaa waajaan maaran lagge
jad beparwaahee laparwahee aapnaa roop vikhaaun lagey
badaleyaa badaleyaa hawaa da rukh, har mausam bhaaun lagey
har ful har rang har panchee tainu pyaaraa pyaaraa lagey

need bukh pyaasss sabh ton inkaar karan lagein
becchin karan waale sajjnaa da intzaar karan lagein
jad karan saheliyaan tichraan ,te toon izhaar karan lagein
jad wadey kitaabaan ton doorie,oh chithee kol bullaun laggey
jad har supney vich pariyaan di kahani sacchee jaapan laggey
te uss supney vich koi raajkumaar tera hath fad door lai jawe

jad saahaan naal saah takraaun par dharkan ruk jaavey
jad dil di dhadkan harpreet de geet gaun laggey
jad tutteyaa taaraa vekh ke toon mangan muraadaan laggein
jad bohot kutch kehnaa chaahein par kuch v naa keh paavein
kise din toon mere waang jaag ke raataan kuch likhan jehi lag jaavein
jad ik athroo meri yaad vich teri akhiyon veh jaavey
bas uss din tonn samajh layeen tainu pyaar ho gayaa
ni mere nal pyaar ho gyaa ni pyaar naal pyaar ho gayaa

----- By Harpreet

Meeting and Passing

One of my fav poems by Robert Frost-

As I went down the hill along the wall,
There was a gate I had leaned at for the view
And had just turned from when I first saw you
As you came up the hill. We met. But all
We did that day was mingle great and small
Footprints in summer dust as if we drew
The figure of our being less that two
But more than one as yet. Your parasol
Pointed the decimal off with one deep thrust.
And all the time we talked you seemed to see
Something down there to smile at in the dust.
(Oh, it was without prejudice to me!)
Afterward I went past what you had passed
Before we met and you what I had passed

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This most of the times makes me think that we meet so many people in our "meeting and passing" lyf..does one always meet & pass or meet and walk together? Or do we let our so called busy lfy's, big ego's and shallow expectations from plyf take over, let the one who came by our gate's go away ??